Most people know what being petty is. I would say it’s dwelling on the unimportant trivial things. Most of the time I don’t concern myself with such matter; however… from time to time I feel the need to stoop to the level of the plebeians who insist on concerning themselves with my life. This happens from time to time and it happened for the first time this year last night. Here’s the particulars.
Last year in my senior year of college some of my friends and I decided to entertain an invitation to participate in the 1st Annual Shimmy Like a Nupe contest (A Nupe is a elevated member of the D9 fraternity Kappa Alpha Psi who are known for canes and shimmying). As much as I love individual members of this chapter and organization this event wasn’t that well organized, (understandably so being that it was the first year, but still) so we got creative with our performance. Now from my understanding we were just supposed to do a stroll (performing a dance in line format with 2 or more people), but since they told us we could do whatever we wanted to in 4 minutes we decided to do a show of some sort and opted out of having a member of the organization as a coach (mostly because I am a member of a sorority that shimmy’s so we didn’t need their help). We spent about 3 weeks or so coming up with a routine, practicing, and critiquing ourselves. The day of the show, as expected, was chaotic. The event did not start on time, which we expected, and none of the members of the organization had arrived until the show was supposed to be about 15 minutes in. As I sat in the back hallway guzzling rum and chasing it with blackberry Merlot, my CL4B came and asked me if we would mind going first because the other teams were either scared or didn’t want to go first. I looked at him with half glazed eyes and said, “Sure, we ain’t scared.” He laughed and replied, “That’s why you my club!”, I nodded and went to tell my group even though I wanted to say “No I’m your number because we stood in the same place on our respective lines” but I figured that was neither here nor there so I refrained.
The lights dimmed and we jigged onto the dance floor to do our performance. Which included a a few kicks, a couple leans, a 3 slow shimmies, 6 fast shimmies, and chair dance to Beyonce’s Dance for you, and of course a seductive Trey Song’s number. The crowd had gone ape sh*t three times by the time we strolled off the stage to Kirko bangz Drink in my Cup (an Ode to the Omicron Phi chapter of KAPsi who always have cups of adult beverages lol). When our performance was over, all of our hair was sweated out.
The other teams performances were, in the crowd’s opinion, less than mediocre. Looks of confusion, disgust, and boredom fill the room and eventually anger when one team completely disregarded the one rule we were actually given. DO NOT THROW UP THE KAPPA’s HAND SIGN. They were disqualified and didn’t even know it.
Moment of truth:
As the host asked the crowd which group they enjoyed the most, the crowd bellowed: Group ONE!!! To be fair, they let us stand up one by one and let the crowd vote in applause. We won by a landslide. But true to the nature of sore losers the other groups were mad. The took to several social networking sites with how the show was rigged, and how we “didn’t even do that great” and my personal favorite “How they win and the SGRho can’t even shimmy?” All the hate made me giggle (I was also still a little inebriated). Because I know how pressed they were about the entire situation, I decided to take to the same social networks and address them. On Twitter I replied to her tweet about winning with a snide remark about how if they wanted the wristband that bad they could have them because we already get into parties free and the one about me no being able to shimmy, I simply responded by saying: “Her opinion didn’t matter because she doesn’t know what it means to shimmy anyway”. Both comments were confrontational, but I entertained them. Neither of my replies received responses, although they received many retweets from instigators.
Now we are coming up on the 2nd annual Shimmy like a Nupe contest. As I scrolled up my Instagram TL last night I saw the advertisement for it, and in the comments I read a conversation between two young ladies:
Girl 1: LMAOO @girl2 yu gonna do it again? (I hate people who type like that)
Girl 2: Nope! They cheated us last year, I’m still salty @girl1
I decided to comment as well
Me: Y’all should be good @girl2 I heard the team from last year all graduated and moved on with their lives
(Oblivious to the shade I had just thrown)
Girl 2: lol they do favoritsim doesn’t matter. I’ll be in the audience this time though @me. What do you think @Coach
Coach: @girl2 I think because the first group went first it came out like that. (wrong). All the moves was gone be the same. But I’m proud of my team soooo.. Y’all was better than my line brother’s group for sure though hahaa
and @me you funny haha
I didn’t respond because the girl wasn’t in no way shape or form knowledgeable of who I was nor that I was throwing Nimbus cloud shade at her.
Needless to say I had a great laugh while being petty, but I had a nice plum daiquiri and got back to business as usual (helping people be great). I wish the videographer of the show would post the videos so we could prove once if for all if the other teams should have one or if they are just being Dead Sea Salty. But until that happens… We won, we won, we shot the bbgun, yall lost yall lost, yall ate tomato sauce!