Conversations with my 18 year old self

Hey girlie,

Congrats on graduating from that hell hole today. And good job on not crying too! Your dad will realize when you turn 23 how much of your life you missed out on, and for some reason, seeing that regret in his eyes will make these feeling obsolete. College is going to be great, you’ll be blessed with more great friends than you ever thought possible and you mad a great decision going to southern. The hard times will be hard, you’ll get through them though. They’ll give you really bad anxiety and subsequent asthma, but you’ll get through. Those great friends that you’ll make will stand by your side through it all, all of them will. That’s how you know they are your true friends. Share more of yourself with people. College will be different from high school, these are the people are more like you. Be yourself, people will love you. Now, you’re not going to have the best mentor, but this will drive your innovation. You will be able to be a great mentor for so many other people and that will help you come to terms with not having had that groundwork. Mentoring will change your life, let it. It will make you a better person, let it. Don’t block these blessings. Your future ex-boyfriend will not be worth the tears, but you’ll cry about him anyway. He’s a great guy, just not great for you. Don’t let him make you bitter, use that time to discover yourself and don’t listen to what your peers are telling you and jump into another relationship. Take the time to heal yourself so that your next relationship can have the opportunity to flourish. You’ll stop doing what you love for a while, but get back to it. Painting and writing keep you sane. When you dye your hair purple, it will be your favorite, but you will only have it for 3 days, and you won’t have any good pictures of it. Just let it be. There will be this boy, he will change your entire perception on the opposite sex, you will be so engulf with how he makes you feel that you won’t know how to deal with it. You will run. Once you have had time to put things into perspective, you will see that running away was you being scared that you could actually be in love with him. We’re still trying to figure this one out, but just know that what is meant to be will be. You’ll make a decision that has to be edited due to circumstance, remember to change the route and not the destination. Be strong young cupcake, you will have people on your side, use them. Mwah! Love you!

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