Straddling the abyss chronicles

I’ve found myself consumed with my Myer’s Briggs personality type once again. I’ve become completely obsessed because I’ve always felt as if I was the only person who over thought, who cared too much, and who became completely exhausted being around large groups of people for extended periods of time. Turns out I’m just INFJ where this is completely normal part of my personality. Now that I know there are other people who loathe small talk just as much as me, I’ve become frantic…

 

This past week, I’ve broken my phone, I’ve bitten off all of my finger nails, and I’ve done a ridiculous amount of good deeds (more than usual). I have no idea why this has stirred my anxiety, but it’s troublesome. Now that I know that it’s in my personality type to be indecisive on things that hold no weight in my life, I’ve become obsessed with wondering why they aren’t important to me.

Then I thought to myself, why is this my first time realizing some of these things? This can’t be right. I looked up ways to help keep anxiety at bay and they all (working out, writing, traveling, meditation, etc.) are things that I’ve been doing all my life, so they never gave me the opportunity to acknowledge I had any negative stress. Then college turned gave me a different perspective on my stress levels.

My fingernails haven’t been this short since my senior year of high school, and I haven’t been this compelled to bite them off since then either. I’m not entirely sure how I can stop biting them, however; I’m sure it has something to do with my my stressful job, spending too much time around people who gossip, and not having any time to do things I enjoy. My brain is fed up and it is acting out by breaking my phone, making me feel ill, and biting off my fingernails. So since I can’t get my instant stress relief, I’ll take a vacation and a stiff drink for now. Road Trip anyone?

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