Bae emailed me! He wants me to post his letter to let you all know how he feels about the recent attention and notoriety he’s been receiving. Now, I know you all are wondering what the infamous Bae has to say, so without further adieu:
To all you unfortunate souls who insist on using my name to refer to fictional partners:
Stop lying on me! I’m not that funny, that ain’t my arm around your neck in any of those pics, I don’t cook, clean, or none of that. Actually, I’m gay. I don’t like women and I never have. Stop talking about me and using my name to replace Terrel, Donte, and Jamal who don’t want you. MAYBE, if you grew some edges and stopped sending trash nudes, he would pay you some attention. MAYBE, if you learned to actually cook and stop passing off Vienna sausages smothered in Ramen noodles on a paper plate as a decent meal, he would pay you some attention. MAYBE, if you read a book and got some business about yourself he would pay you some attention. But really… maybe it just isn’t the right time for you to be in a relationship sweetheart. Maybe, you should spend this single time working on you, so when buddy finally show up with attention to pay you, it’s worth it! Just stop using me to propagandize your fabricated illicit shenanigans with a fictional person. I’m not that guy. Oh, and to all y’all people with a firm grasp of satire and use me to make fun of those sad lonely people… yall funny.
Real n*gga salute,
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Pigskin, Gridiron, 1st downs, silly superstitions. Ah yes. Football is back ladies and gentlemen. I’ve been a fan of football since 2001. Before then, it just got in the way of my Sunday tv lineup, but I was converted and I’ve been a fan ever since. I’ve lived in Georgia most of my life, but the falcons have never really tickled my fancy; I am a New Orleans Saint’s fan. As you could imagine, most of the people I know hate me come football season and that’s fine by me because football puts me in a great mood (Except, I tend to have a sailors mouth when I watch my team play.) Twice every fall, I have the opportunity to watch a Saints vs. Falcons game and I talk all the shit I can muster. In my opinion, Falcons fans are the sorest of losers and winners. After a win, I gloat for an hour or so and let it go. They go on about it until another rival game. I love these games regardless of the outcome though, they promise to fulfill everything great about football: a good game and shit talking.
Aside from the Saints, I enjoy seeing the Bears, Giants, Colts, and Peyton Manning be great (except when they play the Saints) and on the other end I despise the Cowboys, the Patriots, and the Steelers with almost as much fervent passion as I do the Falcons. Now I can’t recall entirely how I came to hate the Cowboys, but I’ve never been a big fan or the Steeler, or the Patriots even when I wasn’t a football fan. I respect the legacies of great football they’ve had though. I can always respect a good football team.
This year, is my first year participating in Fantasy Football which I’m thoroughly enjoying (except, I missed my draft time). I did pretty ok my first week and I’m looking forward to seeing how this season goes for me… it would be easier if my stupid app would let me log in! Regardless, my nails are black and gold, football is back, fall is upon us, and I am one happy Saints fan because we won the season opener against the birds. #WHODAT
I’m not petty, I’m selective
I’ve been a proud member of the twitter community since November 2008 and an active member since December of that same year. Those were the humble twitter days when we described it as the equivalent of making multiple FB status updates. I loved it and spent the next two years coercing my peers to make an account.
In 2011 when it seemed that everyone on earth had a twitter, I began to hate it. I spent my time ranting about how some people don’t need a twitter because I didn’t care what they had to say and then it hit me. You don’t have to follow people because you know them. I had the thought before, but it was easier to just follow and mute them than to tell them that you don’t care about their newly realized infatuation with having a penis, or that their lonely. I think I had finally reached my breaking point and decided I didn’t care if their feelings were hurt by my unfollowing them. When I got to having a timeline that I liked, I said that I would be more selective with whom I chose to follow. Your tweets must have substance, they must inform me, entertain me, or just be “real shit” and that means if you are new to twitter, I will not follow you.
Which brings me to the point of this overly long explanation… I followed someone new to twitter who only have 5 followers and 1 tweet yesterday… against my will to overcome the pettiness that has made its home within me. I’ve decided to give the person a month trial period to deem themselves worthy of my following and if they fall short, I will happily make the blue button gray. And let’s be honest, I’m not obligated to interact with you on social networks because I know you in person. I can’t help that we already know each other, but I don’t have to be bothered by your existence on social networking sites if I don’t want to. I like it because it gives me the opportunity to choose the people whom I will allow to bother me 🙂